It's Christmas Time In Hell

Okay, I know I haven't updated in awhile......but I wasn't sure how to express the angst that usually leads to me posting. BUT....I can't hold the angst in anymore. It must be unleashed. Sooooooooooooo.....let's start from the beginning. Michael and I are broken up. For good, it would seem. He says he just can't love me as much as I love him. Come to find out that he's lied to me several SEVERAL times about several SEVERAL things. In other words, he's cheated on me a couple of times. Once was with a crackhead, but we won't go there. Problem is, I still love the little bastard, and am ready to forgive and move on....except for that pesky little "I can't control his feelings" thing. So anyway....that's a big mess. I've been living here alone for awhile now. He's been in Warner Robins...."giving us space." I miss him a lot.

School is one big fuck up right now. In other words, I may be done.....for good. Problem with that is....I'm not SUPPOSED to be done until May. Yes, one of my professors is being a dickhead. He gave me a D in the class. A D is a violation of my program and could lead to me being "dismissed" from the program all together. So, I have to go talk to this pigheaded, insane man and see what the hell he was thinking, and also see if I can't straighten things out so that my life isn't ruined. He sucks.

And finally, as if all of the above weren't enough to make me pull my hair out....my car got broken into yesterday. Merry fucking christmas, huh? Yeah, I'm just going to stop celebrating days where I'm supposed to get presents. My car gets broken into every damn time. The last time was on my birthday. So, my entire console was ripped out...stereo, included, of course. But OH NO...that wasn't good enough for them. They had to rip it ALLLLLLLLL up....so that neither my heater nor my air conditioner works. Along with the busted window, this is going to cost a pretty penny. Christmas sucks this year. The highlight of my entire holiday season was the few FAR TOO SHORT hours that I got to spend with Rachel. We decided that it'd been a whole year since we'd last seen each other, and I do think that both of us think that that's FAR too long in between visits. As for the rest: being single, my family totally not celebrating because my parents decided to buy a restaurant and then the extendeds are doing their own thing, being broke (even more so now that I have to fix the fucking car...AGAIN), and stressing over school......this season sucks. I keep trying to think of anyway that things could be a bit worse....but nothing comes to the top of my head. I guess I could be dead, and that would be worse...but then again, if I WERE, I wouldn't be dealing with all this crap. I guess there's always a silver lining.

Feel so blah....haven't been able to sleep much.....and there have been some real assholes come into my life recently. Men suck. I've determined. Masters at telling you what you want to hear.....then demonstrating the COMPLETE OPPOSITE. Whatever.